Dear Jesus, please save me, Amen – Max

Last night after reading Max and Ben their Bible story, Max asked me “Dad, how is Jesus in everyone’s heart at the same time.”  That was certainly an intersting conversation, that somehow led to Max thinking that Jesus full name is ‘God Jesus Holy Spirit’.  However, it led to a very cutting question.  “Dad, is Jesus in my heart?”  Bad news is hard to deliver to a little kid.  I stroked his hair, looked in his eyes, and said “No, Max.  Jesus is not in your heart right now.” 

5 year olds are great at connecting the dots.  Earlier in our time together, we talked about Hell and that because of our sin, our punishment is death (ultimately living forever without Jesus).  Max asked me another cutting question, “Will I be all alone when I’m in Hell?” 

We talked through that everyone has sinned (done bad things), and that the punishment for sin is death (living forever without Jesus in Hell), but that Jesus took our punishment instead of us. 

Because God loves you so much, He sent His only son (Jesus) to take our punishment for us.  So that whoever believes in Him won’t have to live forever without Jesus, but will be able to live forever with him (the 5 year old paraphrase of John 3:16)

Max said, “I believe in Jesus”.  Then we talked through asking Jesus to save us.  I told him that this asking Jesus to save him was something that everyone has to do.  I asked him if that was something that he wanted to do.  He said “yes”.

Saira had fallen asleep while I was reading the Bible story.  I didn’t want her to miss this.  So I was just about to say, “hold on, Max.  Let me wake up mommy’ when he closed his eyes, folded his hands, and said, “Dear Jesus, please save me, Amen”. 

As soon as he said “amen” he sat up and hugged me, let go, and then hugged me again.  We woke up mommy, and then Max told mommy what he had done.  Saira was very happy, and told him how proud she was of him. 

I apologized for her missing it…  I can’t tell you how many times I think that Max or Ben have done something new for the first time, and tell Saira only to find out that they did that yesterday…  This makes up for a lifetime of missing first steps.

peel him off the cieling

Gas can cause a variety of reactions.  The reaction typically depends on 1) whose gas is it   2) who is within 10 ft of the emission  3) how audible is it  4) how long does the blowhorn sound off.  and 5) is there enough left in the tank for an encore.

Have you ever experienced the ‘cubicle fart’, preferably your own.  That one turns from a relief to embarrassment and nervousness when someone walks up to talk about something. 

As a manager, I’ve unfortunately been exposed to the ‘performance assessment’ fart, the ‘interview’fart, and the ‘just stopping by to chat (and fart)’ fart.  In every case, my reaction has been the same – keep a straight face, maintain eye contact, and pray that the scent is passive, and doesn’t linger long.

I contrast that to the reaction to my 2yr old, who I could sell at a novelty store as a fart machine.  Obama should be looking to him and his peers for alternative energy.  The best is when they squeak out while he’s sound asleep.  His favorite time to let loose is when his diaper is being changed.  We laugh, and then he laughs, and then he does it again.  This routine continues until his tank is empty.  He puts his hands in the air, and says “all gone”.

Another classic is the ‘urinal’ fart.  The sound of the constant stream is paused for a brief moment while being interupted by a noise from behind.  I was in the bathroom at a movie theater, and I heard a noise.  I felt compelled to respond with a word of encouragement.  So a simple “Nice One.” came out of my mouth.  The individual responded with a hesitant word of gratitude “Thanks”.  I’ll admit that this was a not a shining moment in my life.  Neither was the time that I let out a “WOW” in response to an out of control machine gun blast coming from the stall next to me.  But it happens. 

My mom used to be very against audible gas.  If it ever happened in her presence she would have a look of disdain on her face.  One night during a family game of Phase 10 all that changed.  I am proud to receive the credit for changing her outlook on the whole thing.  A noise came out of me, and my mom’s countenance immediately went to a place of disdain.  However, when the noise continued for the next 15 seconds (most likely a personal record – take some time to count to 15, and you will agree that this was a phenomenal accomplishment) my mom couldn’t help but begin to laugh.  Everyone else laughed as well.  Then my brothers attempted to outdo my life changing fart.  They were unsuccessful, but they did have some ‘nice ones’.  From that day forward, audible farting has been an acceptable practice in our home.   

Gas can cause a variety of reactions.  Try it and see for yourself.

of coffee, God, and us

On Worship (creative arts insert for Meadowland Community Church annual meeting)

Three women sat in a coffee house wondering what to drink.  You may find that odd considering where they were.  One woman shared your sentiments, but she was alone in her simplicity of thought.  Her closest friend, sitting on her right, was used to gourmet lattes, toppings, and condiments all mixed up just right.  Her friends would attest that without that special brew she would be an unbearable wretch.  Of course they all laugh about it as they secretly pity her husband who is the unwitting victim of her wretchedness.  Across the table was a woman she had known for several years, but never really taken the time to really get to know her.  She found her to be a bit of an annoyance as she was so undecisive.  She was the one who would always make the waiter come back 5 times, and on the 5^th time would volunteer to go last because ‘she would probably know by then’.  Sitting in this coffee house was no different.  Somehow she would make picking coffee a stressful chore.  She, on the other hand knew exactly what she wanted, coffee.  She walked up to the counter, and said “just give me coffee”.  Confused, the barista began to question her decision.  He said, hang on I’ll have to make some.  We don’t get many orders for just coffee.  He walked to the back counter past all of the fancy dispensers and crèmes and began to brew the coffee.  When he had finished, he poured it in a cup, and served her.  She sat in the booth, warmed her hands on the outside of the cup, and allowed the warmth and the aroma of ‘coffee’ to envelope her senses.  She was pleased.

We serve this body of believers by leading the way into the throne room of God’s presence every Sunday morning.  We aren’t a group of highly skilled musicians who are committed to pleasing those we are leading.  We are a group of broken men and women who have come together, made whole through the saving grace of our Savior, unified through His Spirit, who long to worship and declare His worth.  God is pleased with the hearts of His worshippers (all of us).  He just wants some coffee.  Keep it simple and pure, and lay it before His feet in service to your King.

There have been several opportunities this year for us to look at one another and scratch our heads in confusion.  It is undeniable that God has been at work in our leadership, in our ministry teams, and in each one of us.  He has been molding and shaping our hearts to serve and please Him and Him alone.  He longs for our pure dependence and leaning on His strong arms. 

Will you ‘go limp’ in the arms of your Savior year?  Will you embrace the pain and hurt that is brought on by your needs, your failures, your inadequacies, and failed expectations?  When we embrace our brokenness, and see ourselves for who we are – fragile people; we will feel and experience the embrace of Christ.  We will respond by lifting up His name, worshipping Him in joyful praise for all that He is.  We will communicate to a hurting and broken world, the worth and splendor that is our Savior.  He will be pleased.

May you join us in this journey of seeking God’s face and dependence on His grace.

John Barnett and Meadowland’s team of worship leaders

 

just sit with it

If you are feeling sad, then feel the sorrow.  If you are feeling angry, then feel the anger.  Don’t deny the feelings that are trying to surface.  Sometimes they don’t make sense right away, or you realize that they are ridiculous.  Feel it anyway.  We will only understand the depths of our heart when we allow the emotions that it has to offer to swell over.  If something is hurt then seek to find it’s healing through grief or comfort or just making it right with the other person.

Be angry but do not sin, and don’t let the sun go down on your anger.  Let no unwholesome word come out of your mouth.  Be still – just sit with it.

When appropriate – spank your inner child.  Sometimes it could use a gooding spanking. =)

to be broken and complete

So many times I find myself in situations that I cannot control or subjected to rules, expectations or consequences that I fall short of embracing as appropriate.  It comes in so many forms, and at the hands of many different people including myself.  Sometimes it is intentional, but most times I think it’s just life. 

It’s when I embrace the truth of who I am that I come face to face with a hard realization.  I am incapable.  As a man, as a husband, as a father, as a manager, as an employee, as a worship leader, as a __________.  I do not have it within to me to always prevail and be successful.  I fail.  Obstacles are too high, the weight is too heavy.  I am overwhelmed with a feeling of hopelessness and loss.  My mind and heart feels like it is spinning and longing desperately for solid footing.  My heart was never intended to bear the weight of tragedy and failed expectations.  I submit to the weight and allow it to crush me.  I know that I am in that place when my anger, frustrations and fears are replaced by tears brought on by embracing the hurt or the inadequacy. 

The arms of my Savior pick me up and I hear Him whisper, “It’s ok.  I’ve got you.  You are safe.”  The weight is lifted off of my heart, and I experience the fullness of Christ in my life.  His heart is intended to bear the weight.  He is capable.  In Christ, my failures and inadequacies find their rest.  I am complete.  The irony of a man, is that true strength is found in true weakness.  It is only when I embrace my brokeness that I am able to experience the fullness and completeness of my Savior.  My heart rejoices with the truth that I am loved, and that I am held.  I have no need of fear.  My heart is free to love.

As I’ve looked back at the hurt that I have caused, I’ve told my sons that I want them to be better than me.  As their father, one thing that plagues my heart is the heartache that awaits my children as they grow older.  I know that while my arms will be strong to carry them, they won’t be strong enough.  In the end, I am not what they need.  They will need the arms of my Savior.  I will be the man in their lives showing them the way.

tear stained stone

This is a post that I started over a year ago, and only got so far as the title.   This reminds me of a time in my life that felt far from God.  Unfortunately, those times seem more prominent than others.  God brought me face to face with the condition of my heart.  I had received some criticism regarding cavalier comments I’ve made that have come across as arrogant or otherwise.  The things that I said ended up being hurtful instead of my words lifting others up.  That brought back floods of memories for me.  I was mainly apalled by things that I’ve said to my wife.  She would repeat the things that I had said, and then she would have to convince me that I said it.  I had a hard time accepting that I would actually say those things.  Why was I so hurtful?  Why am I still? 

The source of this post came when I was driving to work one morning.  I was retracing my conversations and tears began to form as I thought about all of the hurt that I have caused to so many people over the years, especially to my wife.  I pictured those tears falling on a stone crusted heart.  The tears dried on the stone as permanent imprints of people’s pain, pain that I had caused. 

I read a quote the other day.  It’s a prayer – “May my heart be broken with the things that break your heart”

Regardless of what I acheive or accomplish in this life, more than anything I want to leave this world known as a man of love, integrity and a broken heart that could only survive by resting soley in the arms of his Savior.  I’m not that man today, but with every day and every trial I am getting closer.

I feel like I have been broken by so many things.  I have come face to face with so many inadequacies in myself.  My first resolve is to anger and frustration and fear.  My ultimate resolve is always to fall, and embrace the pain of brokeness knowing that I can only experience the fullness of Christ when I am broken.  God is faithful to desolve the tear stained stone that is my heart until it beats as His. 

I love my wife, and I love my children.  I know that I do not deserve them.  I know that they deserve better than me.  They are evidence of God’s grace in my life.  I never have to look any further than the cross and my home.

Pop a pimple – Pull a muscle

I didn’t think it was possible either, but Keith did it.  He actually thought he dislocated his shoulder (drama…).  As an aside, Keith needs to know that if he keeps crying ‘dislocated shoulder’ falsely, then when he really has a dislocated shoulder no one will believe him. 

Anyway, after I tried to relocated his shoulder, he said that he must not have dislocated it, but it hurt…  Saira asked him what he did…  He tried to pop a pimple =)

Discovery Channel – in my front yard (well sidewalk anyway)

We’ve got the discovery channel in our front yard.  These photos won’t get me a job with Jeff Corwin, but at least you can get the idea here.  This praying mantis had two hooks in the frog (one in its side, and one in its throat).  The bug was slowly eating the eye and brains out of the frog.  Poor frog.  I went to get a stick to put the frog out of its misery, but by the time I got back the frog had stopped kicking.

Vacation

My company gave me an extra 2 weeks vacation time this year to celebrate my 10th year with them.  So, I took 3 weeks off to make a 50 hour road trip with the family (Branson, MO; Pensacola, FL; Staunton, VA).  It was fun, and relaxing.  I didn’t know what the date was 3 days into the vacation. 

Everytime I head south, there is a snake waiting for me.  This trip was no different.  There was an oak snake crawling across the top of my grandpa’s 6foot fence.  So now I know that not only are there snakes on the ground; they are up in the trees, too.  It’s one of those things that lets me know that the south is not for me.  Walking through Florida grass is like smoking.  Every step is taking seconds off my life (stress).  I fried myself in 2 hours at the beach.  Not smart, but Max and I made a mean alligator out of sand.  Grandpa and I took Max fishing down at the pond.  Max is just like me.  He doesn’t like touching fish.  I know that I won’t have a choice, so I’ve adapted.  I use gloves.  Benjo says Grandpa now.  We were concerned about the kids hanging out in the car for so long between locations, and borrowed a friend’s DVD player.  Max never asked for it, but Saira and I both watched a movie on it.  Saira enjoyed her Chick-Fi-Let outings and Blue Bell ice cream

We spent the weekend with Darren, Ann Marie and Arwyn in VA.  That was fun.  Saira found the best home-made ice cream ever (except that it wasn’t at someone’s house).  We went for a quickie hike on the Appalachain trail to check out a nice view.  Darren actually got Saira within 5 feet from the edge.  She made it a point to stay at least 20 feet away at all times.  I had my first Mexican food of the vacation in VA, and it kept sneaking up on me for the next couple of days.  It was as close to out of control as you can get without having a medical condition.

Nothing to Say

I have nothing to say…  I just don’t want to have to keep looking at my pictures every time I get on the internet.